


Fly

by zyaku



Series: Arise [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, M/M, if that's whats bothering you, no one dies, this is a tsukkiyama fic, tsukkiyama - Freeform, with small hint of 2yams
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 02:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6781477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zyaku/pseuds/zyaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time goes fast as they try to explain what had happened to him.<br/>Four days ago he had been crushed by a truck on his way to college. He was told he had an emergency surgery that lasted almost six hours, and he was unconscious for two days after that. It was a miracle he was still alive.</p><p>‘Don’t push yourself’</p><p>‘Everything’s gonna be fine’</p><p>Just how many times has he heard these words?<br/>He’s scared, scared of the results, of the numbness of his legs, of being a burden to his mother, of the thought of him never being able to walk again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for giving this story a shot, I hope you enjoy it.

Everything is white suddenly.

_Can you hear me?_

All the things he has on his mind disappear, ‘I have to get to class before it gets late’, he thinks, but he cannot bring himself to move his body. Everything is too blurry, too bright and it hurts his eyes, so he just closes them and breaths. Slower and slower every time.

_Come on, stay with us, kid! I need help!_

He hears voices yelling around him, but he cannot understand a single word, and the harder he tries the worse it gets. He looks around, barely opening his eyes. There’s a lot of movement, a lot of people staring at him as well. He’s tired, confused and his entire body is in pain.  
‘Maybe if I just rest for a while... It’ll be okay’.

_We don’t have time, move!_

The last thing Tadashi hears is the persistent sound of the ambulance siren.

* * *

 

 

Pain is the first thing he perceives, he feels heavy and sore, his head is pounding and the light coming from the window is making it worst, his whole body is aching.  
Dizzines comes right after.  
He opens his eyes to find himself surrounded by white walls, a big window to his left and a light blue curtain separating his bed from the one on the right. There’s not many things besides the three beds in the room, there is a big drawer in from of him that occupies almost half of the wall and next to it is a monitor hanging from the wall, two chairs at both sides of the room and a small planner placed in the table at the end of the bed, it has a white cover and a card with something written on it.

He blinks and rub his eyes with his hands, his arms feel like they are going to fall off, he could see many bruises in them and an intravenous line connected to his right wrist, ‘what on Earth happened?’, as much as he tries to remember, all he can recap is leaving his house in the morning, rushing his way to the train station ‘and then what?’, he doesn’t want to think anymore right now, everything hurts and he is not making it any better by trying to figure out what happened.  
He slowly rests both arms back in the bed, and tries to look around a bit more but his position makes it a bit difficult to see anything else so, bearing the pain of his limbs, he decides to try and sit up.

But there’s something wrong.

His eyes open wide and he tries one more time but it doesn’t work.  
His legs won't move.  
And then he starts panicking, he moves the blanket that’s covering him the best he can without being beaten by the cramp of his muscles, he manages to throw it around his stomach.  
His legs are fine, he so why can’t he feel them? He tries with all his might, but there’s no answer. Once, twice, the result is always the same.  
His head hurts, too much and it restrains him from trying to move any further.  
Slowly, he feels his eyes watering, he leans his head back again into the pillow and closes his eyes as hard as he can, he must be dreaming, it’s all a nightmare. When he wakes up everything’s going to be okay… 'Right?'  
As much as the tears fall down his desperation grows stronger, he’s not waking up, because there’s nothing to wake up for. He’s wide awake and terrified.

The door opens and a nurse enters the room, she stops at the end of his bed and takes the planner hanging from it to read it.

“Exc-...ec-use...”

He realizes his throat is dry, aching and painfully damaged. It feels like the air was sucked from his lungs for every word he tries to say, but he barely manages to make a noise loud enough for the woman to hear it.

“Oh, so you’re awake, excuse me, I didn’t want to bother you” she says with a kind smile, while writing something. “How are you feeling? We gave you painkillers an hour ago so it should help a bit, you had it rough, don’t push yourself too hard, okay?”

“... C-an’t… Feel...my le-gs” he manages to say, feeling bitterness in his mouth as he pulls out the words. It is disgusting and agonizing, but he needs to know what’s going on, even if it means struggling with his own body.

The nurse looks at him with concerned expression, she doesn’t say anything for a short while, reading again the planner and then putting it away. “You were in a pretty serious accident” she says as she comes closer to the bed “You had an emergency surgery to save your life, but here you are; you made it. You’re safe and sound” she smiles and carefully fixs Tadashi’s bangs over his face, he stares at her in shock, “It’s been two days, you’re still recovering, so don’t panic, sweetheart” she pulls the blanket up again and gently covers him with it “It’s gonna be fine. Now rest some more, you must be exhausted”.

He’s struggling to keep himself from sobbing, he’s too astonished, too restless; he wants to force his body to respond, to move and sit up, to talk like he does normally, but just the effort of trying to do it is enough for him to be drowning in pain, in his own tears, in this miserable feeling.

“You need to calm down, I don’t want to sedate you. It’s dangerous for you to move that abruptly” the nurse says drily, her eyes still making a concerned expression but taking a stricter hint on her words.

After trying one more time to move his torso, he grips his hands in the bed’s rails, trying to lift himself up. The nurse quickly calls for help, and a few more people come into the room, one carrying a small sealed jar with a transparent liquid. He watches how one of them fills a syringe with it while the other two grab his arms in order to retain him from moving. They insert it in the intravenous line he has connected to his right arm.

And everything becomes dark, bleary and unbearable. He shuts his eyes.

‘Wake up. Please, wake up’

 

The next time Tadashi opens his eyes he is surrounded by people, they’re quietly talking around him. He blinks a few times to focus and recognizes the face of his mother, she is sitting the closest to him, next to her there’s three more people; Sugawara, Ennoshita and Yachi, his friends from college, 'what are they doing here?'  
He’s in a different room this time, it looks pretty much the same, except this one has just two beds so it looks bigger. The other bed is empty.  
There are two small arrangements on the table with many different flowers. He slowly comes back to all his senses. Everyone stops speaking when they realize he’s awake.

“Tadashi... Welcome back” his mother says in a kind tone, her way of talking is always slow and warm, he’s always felt calm when talking to her.

“Hi...” he says in an extremely low voice, his throat doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it did before but it’s still dry and sore.

And, even though he wants to burst out crying, he smiles softly. He smiles because he promised himself a long time ago that he would not make her mother cry, not after all she’s been through. They have always been just the two of them, she was a young single mother and had nothing to rely on but herself in order to raise him. Tadashi doesn’t remember his father, but he does remember how miserable he made her mother until the very day he left.

He watches as all of them smile as well, like the tension of the room was suddenly released by Tadashi’s awakening.  
He looks at their faces closely, he can see the redness of everyone’s eyes, and he was sure they could see his as well, so he decides to let it go, like a silent pact.

“How do you feel? You gave us a big scare, didn’t you?” her mother smiled, stretching her arm to take his hand, he registers the faint warm of her hand in comparison to his, he hadn't notice until then how just cold he is. He feels uneasy in his own body, not knowing what he can and can’t do, the panic urges inside him, but he has to control it, his body is weak now, he can’t afford to waven in spirit too.

“F-fine… I’m gla-d you’re here” he coughs, managing to bring his left hand to his mouth, the effect of the sedatives still affecting his movements .  
His mother then hurries and takes a glass of water with a thin straw in it and hands it to him “Don’t push yourself, dear; you’re just waking up. Here, the nurse said you should drink some water when you woke up”

He slowly drinks the liquid, it feels like it’s been weeks since the last time he drank something.

“We’ve been here the whole time, you were in intensive care so we weren’t allowed to enter” she calmly explains “Your friends even stayed the night”

He raises his sight to look at the worried expression of his friends, suddenly embarrassed by his mother’s statements. “Thank you… So much” he mutters and finishes his water, his mother takes the cup again and leaves it on the table.  
He senses the pain slowly coming back along with his consciousness, he’s feeling more awake than before.

He notices Sugawara’s eyes widening and little tears coming from his eyes “You big jerk, wakes up from an accident and the first thing he does is thank us, can you believe this guy?” he asks with a wide smile looking at Ennoshita who’s laughing along the others to Suga’s reaction.  
Ennoshita pats his shoulder and looks at Tadashi  
“There you go, you made Suga cry, just when we thought he couldn’t lose any more of his manliness”  
“Shut up, Chikara”

Everyone is laughing and it somehow calms him, he wants to laugh as well but it hurts too much to do it, so he just smiles and squints his eyes.

The time passes fast as they try to explain what had happened to him. Four days ago he had been crushed by a truck on his way to college, the driver had fallen asleep and crushed him when he was crossing the street. He was told he had an emergency surgery that lasted almost six hours, and he was unconscious for two days after that, he had a couple ribs broken and severe damage in the lumbar spine which was mostly treated in surgery.  
The several exams done to him while he was unconscious had yet to be revised by a doctor, so they just needed to wait for answers about his condition.  
They talked and talked, making jokes and promising to go out celebrating after he leaves the hospital, they talked to push away everything else.  
All until the nurse on duty enters the room and announces the end of the visiting hours.

“I guess that’s all for us for today, we’re definitely coming back tomorrow though!” Ennoshita says while stepping next to Yachi, who’s been way too silent the whole time they’ve been there. Tadashi knows she is worried about the same thing he’s been struggling not think about, he knows that if Yachi says one word, she’s not gonna be able to control herself from crying, so she stays quiet.

“I’m also going to be here first time in the morning, Tadashi. I’ll do my best so I don’t embarass you in front of your friends, I promise” his mother says while raising a fist in the air as a signal for hard work, a smile always on her face.

“...You don’t have to” Tadashi looks at her with an appeased expression and smiles back “I’m… I’ll be fine. I’ll do my best too, so don’t”

And those words are enough to make his mother’s eyes water, but she’s as stubborn as Tadashi so she blinks her tears away and nods “Mom will do her best too, everything’s gonna be fine, you’ll see. We… We almost lost you but I knew you’re strong Tadashi, I was sure you were going to be okay, and I wasn’t wrong. So I won’t disappoint you either.”

Tadashi nods and her mother walks out of the room without turning back, if she did, Tadashi would be able to see her tears inconsolably falling down.

“See you tomorrow, Yamaguchi.” his friends says in unison. Waving lightly their hands and leaving as well, except for one.

Sugawara stays. He stares at him for a few seconds before stepping closer to Tadashi and gently puts both hands on his cheeks “Hey, don’t push yourself too hard, okay?”

“I’m not-”

“I know you, I know that face you’re making. You’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling right now, so don’t restrain yourself from anything, got it?”

Tadashi had always been good handling his feelings, he knew well how to act in almost any situation, he was an expert at pretending. But Sugawara Koushi is a very perceptive person and he has know the boy for a while now so there was no way he could pretend around him. He’s never been able to do it before without being discovered by him.  
And right now,Tadashi’s thankful it is that way.

“Listen, you’ll deal with anything that comes, the good and the bad, and you know what? Because you have me, all of us on your side, you’re not alone. We always take advantage of your mature personality, even though we’re older, but now it’s your turn to rely on us.”

Suga gently wipes away Tadashi’s tears with his thumbs and smiles at him.

“...Thank... you” Tadashi says now with tears pouring down his cheeks. The head nurse enters the room this time and asks the white haired boy to leave, he apologizes and nods, leaving the room with a small goodbye.

And he cries, he cries like he never has cried before, letting all the pain out. He’s scared, scared of the results, of the numbness of his legs, of being a burden to his mother, of the thought of him never being able to walk again. He lets it all out until his eyes are dry.

_‘Don’t push yourself'_

_‘Everything’s gonna be fine’_

Just how many times has he heard it today?

The world he looked with so much optimism not seems to fall apart and all of these words feel like lies.

 

* * *

 

 

The room is way too big for him, he's connected to two other machines he didn't saw before and in a few minutes he is surrounded by more people passing different liquids through the line, it feels cold in his arm, he can feel every single one making its way into his veins, being the last one the faster to work; he senses his body ceeding to the painkillers he’s been needing for so long, meanwhile next to him another nurse is putting blankets on the next bed, he figures another patient is about to arrive to the room.

Tadashi looks out the window and sees nothing but darkness and a reddish sky.

“It’s going to rain tomorrow”


	2. Chapter 2

The room is way too big for him, he's connected to two other machines he didn't saw before, they are attached to different parts of his body, he doesn’t question what are they for anymore.

In a few minutes he is surrounded by more people passing different liquids through the line, it feels cold in his arm, he can feel every single one making its way into his veins, being the last one the faster to work; he senses his body ceeding to the painkillers he’s been needing for so long, there’s a small bottle labeled as ‘Oxycodone’, he figured that was the cause of his sudden drowsiness. Meanwhile, next to him another nurse is putting blankets on the next bed, he figures another patient will arrive the room soon.

Tadashi looks out the window and sees nothing but darkness and a reddish sky.

 

“It’s going to rain tomorrow”

 

He says to himself. Two nurses look outside and mention something about the announce of a storm coming next week and some other things on how the sky is completely cloudless. He listens to all they’re saying but it feels like it is happening somewhere far away from him. The medicaments are slowly sinking in, and their words don’t make sense anymore to him, he doesn’t want to listen, but they are being so nice even though he hasn’t been on his best behaviour. ‘Don’t make their job any harder, Tadashi’ he mentally he tells himself, ‘it’s not their fault’.

All the nurses leave at the same time reminding him to call them if he needs anything, he is left by himself feeling dull and out of his senses, he’s getting used to the constant dizziness.

 

He closes his eyes in order to try again and remember what happened, and for the first time he remembers something else, or more specifically  _ someone _ else.

Just a few days ago he was sitting in front of his computer searching for resources for his college assignments when he got a text, it was around 11PM so he was rather surprised by it. He looked at the screen and his smile fade away in an instant, ‘not now’ he thought, reading the name displayed on the screen: Kageyama Tobio.

 

‘We need to talk.’

 

He stared at the short text for a few seconds, frowning because of the light of the screen on his eyes. He quickly wrote a response, feeling displeased.

 

‘No, we don’t. We talked, a lot, long ago. I don’t have anything else to say to you.’

 

He felt horrible for replying that rudely but it was the only way

And the response came in a few seconds, not in a text but with an actual call from the black-haired boy. He didn’t want to answer, because he knew everything he was going to say, he had heard it before and it sounded more distressing every time he thinked about it. 

 

Tadashi met Kageyama Tobio in his first year of high school, they were in the same club and spent most of their free time together. Kageyama was an introvert and wouldn't hang around anyone else mainly because no one would even approach him, judging by his intimidating appearance. Tadashi on the other side, being a shy person as he was wouldn’t bring himself to make friends either, so they were stuck together. And it was okay, Tadashi always considered Kageyama to be a rather interesting person, and hanging around him was easy, there were things that he wouldn’t share with anyone else but him, because he was the only one who would actually listen and try to understand him, being his sexuality a big example of it. Kageyama didn’t treated him any different, he  _ understood _ , he always understood and accepted him despite everything.  And that’s how an innocent teen-crush began, one that Tadashi wouldn’t bring himself to confess until a year later, finding out then it was reciprocated. 

Kageyama was his first real friend, his first crush, his first kiss, his first boyfriend, and at that innocent point of his life nothing else mattered. He truly believed this was only person he needed in his life. But time changes, and people do too.

They graduated and moved in together to an apartment outside the main city, they went to different colleges but promised to stay together for as long as possible.

Tadashi’s friends from college knew Kageyama, as his roommate and friend at least, but they never quite understood the nature of their relationship. The same thing happened to Tadashi with Kageyama’s friends.

For a short period of their lives, everything felt like a dream.

The first year was tough and the tension between college responsibilities and their respective part-time jobs made their relationship falter. The exigency of their daily lives was too much as it was to also manage fixing the holes of a relationship that seemed to fall apart day by day. They loved each other, but it seemed like that was no longer enough. 

By the end of the academic year they lived that sort of life where they could be absolutely fine one moment and the next end up arguing over the smallest thing, hurting each other with awful words and making up with a silent apology neither of them managed to say out loud.

Weakened but not broken, their remained together. And that was the beginning of six months of a self-destructive relationship.

They would fight every day, both verbally and physically tear each other apart, mercilessly say and do the meanest things out of anger and end up crying their hearts out apologizing and swearing never to do it again. Then start all over again the next day.

At that point, insults, scars, blood, wounds and pain were all too common and normal things for them.

 

“I don’t want this anymore” Tadashi said one night, they were both sitting on the floor with their backs resting on opposite walls, Kageyama was resting his arms in his knees and hiding his wounded face in the space between his forearms and his chest, Tadashi on the other side wiped the blood coming out from his lips with the back of his hand. They were both breathing heavily, exhausted from having a one of their biggest fights “Kageyama, I love you… But if we keep holding onto this any longer I... I will end up hating you. There will be no end to it, I don’t want us hurt each other anymore. This is not love, this is sick... There’s nothing left of this relationship”

 

There was a long silence, he could see how the other man’s body tensed up in an instant.

 

“Kageyama, I love you” he repeated, because Kageyama isn’t anything like his appearance. He is insecure, and he would most definitely blame himself and just himself for this situation.

 

He could hear the other man angrily sobbing, feeling just as guilty as him. After a big sigh to calm himself he spoke with a shaking voice “I love you, Tadashi”

 

_ I love you… So I’m letting go. _

 

They broke up in the middle of their second year of college. Yamaguchi moved the next day to Yachi’s small apartment, it was closer to college and he managed to find a job near the city. He didn’t hear from Kageyama since that day on, until two weeks before the accident. 

 

It started by Kageyama asking his friends about Tadashi, how he was and what was he up to. He often texted him asking for them to meet, saying that he had something important to talk to him. He knew Kageyama was not a bad guy and he didn’t mean any harm, but he was scared. He was always just one step away from replying to his texts, his calls or just go find him, and then he remembered those six months of a painful codependent relationship and cowered.

It had been a little more than half a year since they broke up, and he still couldn’t face him. But that night two weeks ago Tadashi decided that enough was enough.

 

“What do you want?” he answered in an irked tone.

 

“...Tadashi” the sound of Kageyama’s rough voice saying his name felt so familiar he couldn’t bring himself to say anything else and just waited for the boy speak. “I-... I need to talk to you… But not over the phone. Could we-?”

 

“No” he replied rushing his words “We can’t. If you have anything to say to me then better say it quickly because I’m about to hang up on you”

 

“Tadashi, please… This is important”

 

“Important? All the important things have been said a long time ago, so if you have any respect for me or yourself just stop”

 

“You have to listen to-”

 

“No, I don’t have to!, if that’s not it then… Then at least do it for the love you once had for me... I’m hanging up”

 

“I still love you”

 

Tadashi stayed quiet, holding the phone with his shaking hands.

 

“I- I’m sorry. Please, don’t cry”

 

“That’s unfair” Tadashi managed to say, his voice breaking with every word, he felt the tears falling down his face. “That’s unfair, Kageyama! You’re playing dirty” he raged, holding the phone for dear life.

 

“I didn’t mean to” he replied.

 

And with those words Tadashi hanged up. It was more that he could deal with.

The night went flying and his mind wouldn't stop repeating Kageyama’s words.

Tadashi fell asleep hours later, exhausted and with dry eyes from crying. 

He didn’t heard from Kageyama again until four days ago, he woke up to find out he was an hour late for his next class. He rushed dressing and took all the stuff he needed before running down the street to the train station, when he was two blocks away from it, his phone ringed. It was a text from Kageyama. 

The traffic light went red.

He stopped and opened the text.

 

‘This is no good, Tadashi. 

I tried to wait for you but we can’t go on like this.

I’m coming to see you today. 

I’ll be waiting for you after class at the main entrance’

 

The light went blue and he hurried to cross the street, while reading the text once, twice.

And suddenly, everything became white.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Tadashi wakes up he is in the same bed, the same place, the same blue curtains pushed back halfway and the rail dividing the room in half, except this time the other bed had been opened and a blond man is sitting in a chair placed at the end of it, Tadashi can tell he’s reading a book by the way he's sitting. He then notices his own bed was bent in the upper part so he is in a semi-sitting position, which makes him able to widen his range of sight. 

Intrigued by the unknown presence but far from being bothered by it he tries his best not to disturb the other person as he takes the glass of water in front of him and slowly sips from the straw, the pain in his throat is almost gone by now, but the touch of the cold water against it makes him cough a little before going all the way through. 

The other man raises his head and turns back to look at him. He barely bows with his head and mouths a simple “pardon the intrusion”. Tadashi bows back and pulls a small smile as he was apologizing for the noise.  

They both go back to their respective business, or so Tadashi thought until he tries to put the glass back on the table and fails, making all the remaining water fall on him as well as the glass. He tries to reach for it but it is too far away from his range. 

“Oh my...”The other man turns back again and quickly steps next to bed to take the cup before it falls on the floor, “Are you okay?” he asks with a worried look and leaves the glass back on the table, “do you want me to call the nurse?”

 

Tadashi hasn’t felt this embarrassed in a while. He shakes his head a few times as he pulls the blanket back “No, no, I’m okay. It’s not necessary, thank you” he thanks he is finally able to speak fluently so he can make a believable point.

 

“Are you sure? They’re outside so they won’t be long and besides the water fell on you bed, didn’t it?” he says while frowning and looking straight at him.

 

Tadashi makes a gesture with his hand as for him not to worry, “I’m okay, really... My hand just slipped and there wasn’t much water left so it’ll dry right away” he hurries to say, trying his best to pronounce correctly every word so he won’t notice that the sedatives are still mildly affecting his speech, it should go away eventually so he isn’t too concerned about it. He pulls the blanket back up “See? Thank you for your concern… Sorry for making such a fuss when you were reading”

 

The blonde squints his eyes as for a second and nods “It’s okay” he replies simply, and goes back to his sit. Tadashi knows he was trying hard not to look at his bruised arms out of politeness, it was understandable, his whole body was covered in them and it would alarm anyone who looked at it.

He is feeling better than the day before, understanding is probably because of the medication they gave him last night, he knows that it is going to fade through the day, reminding him the extent of damage on his body. And yet again, reminding him of the inevitable truth.

But Tadashi has to be strong, there’s another person in the room and he won’t show any more weakness that the one that was fairly obvious, 'You did it yesterday and you can do it today.’ and as he thinks that he takes a deep breath and then exhales, but the truth is he’s much more awake and conscious than the day before, and therefore more tense and frightened. But if he shows his anxiety they’re going to sedate him again, and he won’t let that happen anymore, he won’t let that tortuous state into his body ever again if it depends on him.

 

He raises his sight to look at the room one more time, he needs to distract himself somehow, before it gets worst. Then he looks again at the man sitting on the chair, he’s holding the book with both hands but it’s not open yet, he doesn’t think twice and speaks in a low yet audible voice. The room is quiet so it’s not hard for the other one to realize Tadashi is talking towards him. “Are you waiting for a relative?”

 

He slowly stop focusing on his book and looks at Tadashi, this time with a much calmer look, “Yes… My brother’s coming out from recovery in five minutes so they let me wait for him here”

 

“I see… I hope he gets better soon” Tadashi replies with a smile and just then he realizes his the lower left side of his face feels swollen. He doesn’t want to imagine how bad he face looks.

 

They boy widen his eyes a little and replies “.. Thank you, uhm...”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry… My name is Yamaguchi Tadashi”

 

“Thank you, Yamaguchi-san.” he bows again with his head, and it takes him a few seconds to realize the polite thing was introducing himself as well. “I’m...”

 

The doors open wide and two nurses enter the room, one of them pushing a wheelchair in which a man with a leg splint was seating.

  
“Kei! You’re here!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The small hint of 2Yama ended up taking two thirds of the chapter.  
> ...  
> This is a Tsukkiyama fanfic, I swear.
> 
> Also, I wanted to name this chapter, but couldn't bring myself to do it so. The title was an idiom of my country that literally translates to "Flying low" and it means to be caught off guard, I just thought it fits the chapter. But I don't know if "Flying low" means another thing in English, so I chickened out.


End file.
